All posts by queenofthenightshade

Day 294: Get Out of Here

Something interesting happened at work today.

As you know, I’ve been feeling overwhelmed with my life lately. I guess I’ve been doing a bad job of hiding it. Today was really hard for me and my coworkers got worried. They know about most of my struggles right now and respectfully asked me to “not show my face around school for the rest of the week.”

I’ve been very reluctant to take any time off for various reasons. We’re already shorthanded and there are some very involved kids in our class this year. Still, it took the threat of physical violence for me to give in. I could be mad at them, but I’m touched by their concern. They’re the best.

Therefore, I’m taking the rest of the week off.


Day 290: Lower your voice

Staying with my parents has been necessary for the past couple months. It isn’t the most desirable option, but it is the cheapest.

After spending two months under the same roof as my father again. I remember why I stopped visiting so much. He’s the type of guy that thinks that being loudest makes him the most correct. About everything.

It doesn’t matter the topic. He has to be right and will not accept being wrong. Heaven forbid you try to offer correct information or where to find it. He just gets louder and the way my now adult nerves are set up, I have to leave the room before I start cursing back at him.

But that is a challenge at times too. He won’t let you leave until he says what he has to say. You just have to stand there and take it. It’s infuriating.

I like the idea of my father, but he is far from my favorite person.

Day 289 jKo Cosmetics

This is a little different from my usual posts but I had to tell you guys how great jKo is!

I found this company on Twitter while I was looking for Black owned businesses to support. This small cosmetics company doesn’t have a wide range of products, but what they do have is wonderful.

My first order consisted of their Body Butter in “Strawberry & Cream”. I coupled that with a shimmering, chocolate scented body oil called “Cocoa Kisses”. Both products smelled amazing and I though wearing both would be fine. The body butter seemed difficult to spread on my skin, but the coverage improved over time. My body heat probably warmed it up a bit. I coupled it with the body oil. Cocoa Kisses also helped soothe my super dry skin and left me shiny and sparkly for several hours. Overall, I liked both products and I decided to order something else.

The second time I ordered jKo’s Serene Skin facial cleanser and a lip gloss. My facial skin can be very sensitive at times and I was looking for gentler alternative that could still do the job. Upon my first use, I could tell that my skin would be happy with this product. It has a light minty aroma and left my skin feeling fresh and hydrated.

My gloss is a gold shimmer called “24 Karat”. I totally adore it! It doesn’t feel heavy on your lips and it adds a beautiful shine. I caught myself staring at my reflection in the sunlight more than once. There is little I like more than sparkles on dark skin!

Here’s the best part. jKo’s products are fairly priced. I haven’t spent more than $20 for any of my orders. If you follow them on Twitter, there are also discount codes and secret sales announced regularly. If you use the code “BEATCANCER”, you can save 15% off your purchase. That saved money goes towards the Breast Cancer Support and Research fund.

I am really happy with everything I’ve ordered from this little company and I’d encourage anyone to give them a shot. Here’s a link to the website!

Day 285: Take my Money

I want to buy all the things. Especially, Black owned things

All the makeup, even though it’s bad for my skin and I’m horrible at it.

All the clothes, even though they are expensive and I rarely leave the house.

All the trips, even though I’m not the biggest fan of people.

All the foods. even though I’m supposed to be trying to lose weight.

Buying things makes me feel good. Retail therapy is a real, but temporary solution to my emotional problems. It kinds of fills the voids that I have inside. Until it doesn’t anymore.

That happens too. Then things get really bad.

I hate being broke because I like buying things. When I can’t, my depression and anxiety enter a new level of irritating. Checking my bank account has reduced my to tears on many occasions.


Pardon my rambling. I’m trying to work through some things.