My son came home today. He says he had a good time but he cant tell me what he actually did. He tried, but he wasn’t very good at expressing himself verbally today. I just listened and was glad he was back. Normally, I need a break from him but several days is more than enough.
On the other hand, I’m starting to feel a little down. This happens when I spend a lot of time on my own. I enjoy my solitude most of the time, but I had a weird, lonely feeling today. I’m supposed to get some writing done but I’m having trouble finding inspiration.
A mound of Earth that was built by Native Americans around 1100 ad.
It was hot and the march to the top was exhausting, but I made it. The view from there is impressive, but imagine how it looked when it was new. Before time and industry wore it down. It had to have been amazing.
I thought about how my life would be if I has been born in that era. Working the fields in the same hot sunlight, preserving crops and fish for the brutal winters, birthing countless children without the aid of modern anesthesia. I’m sure I would have accepted it. How would I know any better? I would play the mother’s role as my mother and her mother did.
Standing on that mound made me reflective. I thought about all the people that had come before me. Civilizations that have come and gone before I was ever thought of. I thought about peoples that just went about their day to day lives, thinking about the past and future just like I do. Did those native women want to live free and happy lives just like I do? Did they dream of future generations and see greatness? The ancestors laid so much groundwork for us to build on and many of us ignore our historical connections altogether.
Would they be sad to know that? Would the people that came before us be bothered by the way we live now, locked in our own little bubbles?
I asked myself these questions and teared up. I hope I’m making my ancestors proud. I hope they gain the peace of knowing that their struggles and hardships weren’t in vain. I hope they are pleased that the legacy they left hasn’t been totally erased; that their lives mattered.
I decided, standing there in the summer sun, that I would live out my days in a way that would make my great grandmothers happy. I hope I’m part of the future they were dreaming of.
Sorry for the later post today. I’ve been really busy getting ready for a yard sale tomorrow morning. It required several days work in my house and I’m still not done. This purge and cleaning has worn me out but I know I’ll feel better once all this junk is gone.
Also, I want to say thanks to everyone who read, shared, and connected with my first published essay. (You can find it here if you missed it yesterday.) I’ve gotten loads of positive feedback and only makes me want to write more. It’s comforting to know that I can use my down times to be a light in someone else’s darkness. I’m grateful for the opportunity.
I know I was supposed to write about fidget spinners today and I will post that particular rant at another time. Something more interesting has come up.
Remember that exciting thing that I couldn’t talk about yet?
No, you say.
That’s okay. I remembered and today I can share the news. I have one of my essay’s published in Spoken Black Girl magazine!!!!!!!!! How amazing is that!!!!!!!!!!!
It’s a brand new, online magazine that talks about mental health, wellness, and beauty featuring women of color. Chock full of other writers and bloggers to follow and be inspired by. Go check it out, guys!
It’s a holiday weekend in the US. Lots of people are traveling and flooding the roadways and airports. I’m not going anywhere this year but I wish safe travels to everyone who will be on the road. Be safe, friends!
I’ve promised myself that I was going to start purging some of my old things. I have loads of clothes just laying around and generally cluttering up my space. Fixing that is going to be a lot of work, but I’m finally ready to take that step. It will be refreshing to have a cleaner area to just be in. Someone once said that clutter clogs your creativity and I can see how that would be the case. Time to fix my space.