Sorry for the later post today. I’ve been really busy getting ready for a yard sale tomorrow morning. It required several days work in my house and I’m still not done. This purge and cleaning has worn me out but I know I’ll feel better once all this junk is gone.
Also, I want to say thanks to everyone who read, shared, and connected with my first published essay. (You can find it here if you missed it yesterday.) I’ve gotten loads of positive feedback and only makes me want to write more. It’s comforting to know that I can use my down times to be a light in someone else’s darkness. I’m grateful for the opportunity.
It’s a holiday weekend in the US. Lots of people are traveling and flooding the roadways and airports. I’m not going anywhere this year but I wish safe travels to everyone who will be on the road. Be safe, friends!
I’ve promised myself that I was going to start purging some of my old things. I have loads of clothes just laying around and generally cluttering up my space. Fixing that is going to be a lot of work, but I’m finally ready to take that step. It will be refreshing to have a cleaner area to just be in. Someone once said that clutter clogs your creativity and I can see how that would be the case. Time to fix my space.
There are a lot of things I’m working on to improve myself. My self esteem is a mess on a good day. Depression is always lurking behind every corner. I could stand to lose a few pounds, etc.
One of the major things that bothers me us my seeming inability to control my stressors. I let things pile on until I have a breakdown. Could be anything; school stress, work stress, general life stress, doesn’t matter. I don’t vent. I allow my problems to continue to weigh me down.
As I said, I know it’s an issue. It gets to the point when I can hardly function without being a wreck. Generally, a bad time for everyone around me. There are a few things that help but my depression works in a wrap around and I have no desire to take care of myself. Vicious.
There is no real point here other than I’m stressed out right now. I’m sure my overall health is being affected. I’ve started having these random stabbing pains in my head. It sucks and I have no idea when they will strike. I’ll be going about my business when I suddenly have to grab my head and moan. The pain lingers for awhile then goes away, but it always happens again. Hopefully, its just a side effect of my stress and it isn’t a sign of something more serious.
I’m not much of a makeup person. I’ll use it every now and then, but it’s still rarely. Even when I indulge my own vanity, my looks are really simple. Foundation, maybe some eyeliner and a colored lip. I usually stop there. As a result, I’m not the greatest at it.
I’ve tried to do a couple of eye looks but they didn’t go well. I looked like I lost a fistfight. Plus, the palette I used irritated my eyes and I was itchy for a few days afterward.
Practice will help my skills and I know this. It’s just hard to find motivation to practice. Sometimes, I’ll watch tutorials on YouTube and make myself sick with jealousy and envy. Those folks know what they’re doing and they make it look effortless. I need to watch someone just figuring it out, like myself. I’m sure it’ll help my confidence.
Anyway, I’ve got a free evening. I may end up trying some things. I hope my new palettes don’t hurt my eyes.
I don’t spend enough time with my mother. She isn’t that old and doesn’t need to much help, but I do like when I can help her around the house. Every time I do, I feel as if I gain some secret piece of ancestral knowledge.
My mother is the best cook I know. She’s shared the family cookbook worth me, but I can’t do the recipes justice. There are just some things that over fort years of practice will teach you.
She kind of serves as the family historian as well. Mom knows which cousin comes from which branch of our clan, who got married, who had babies, all that type stuff. Mom is also the person to talk to if you want to know the family gossip.
My mother is amazing and I’ll probably make a better post about her for Mother’s Day. This is just what I can think of while I’m sitting at her kitchen table. I can only hope my own son thinks as highly of me in his adult years.
It’s been raining for 48 hours straight. Plus, its windy and cold.
Not cool, nature. Not cool.
I wouldn’t mind the rain, but I don’t need the cold. I’m over cold weather.
The flooding in the area is getting bad too. The river is majorly swollen and many businesses and farms are feeling the pain. People have been forced out of their homes and its heartbreaking. I’ve been keeping the displaced in my thoughts.
On the other hand, the Sun comes back tomorrow! Don’t get your arks ready just yet. We’re gonna be just fine!