I spent too much time relaxing this summer. I only say this because my body is having a hard time readjusting to my normal schedule. My body is sore and I’m worn out.
At the same time, I’m excited to get the school year going. I love seeing my friends progress through the year, ,even though the beginning can be rocky. We have to remember how to be at school, you know.
I’ll also do better about posting regularly. This weekend will be dedicated to getting some writing done and that includes blog posts!
This is a blessing and a curse. It means that I get to return to some kind of normalcy, a routine if you will. I’ll start getting paid again and seeing my work family will be nice.
At the same time, there will be more fuel for my stress train. I have to go back to pretending to be okay to get through my work day. The kids are also dealing with their own issues and all their collective energies are very draining. Plus, I still have to survive another month without a paycheck. I’m already well behind on bills and finances have been my primary source of bad feelings over the fast ten weeks. This time of year is the worst for me apart from the holidays. Back to school coupled with my son’s birthday means that I need funds. Funds are exactly what I not only don’t have, but have no access to for a while. It’s hard to explain to your kid that we have to celebrate their birthday late because there’s no money for fun.
One would think I could have prepared better. I know about my summer drought every year. I tried to save some to prepare, but my savings ran out much faster than anticipated. My expenses have grown since last year and my budgeting was way off.
I hate asking for help. Hate it. I’m stubborn and have a habit of letting things get as bad as they can. I’m still not comfortable with it but something has to give.
I have a ko-fi link on my homepage and I’ll leave my paypal here too. I also started a patreon. If you would like to donate something, it would be appreciated. Even if you can’t, I understand. I brought this on myself.
Either way, I’m glad I have regular readers. It’s nice to know that I’m not just screaming into the void. I hope you guys are having a great day.
I’m not the best parent, but I try to keep promises I make to the boy.
Today, I let him down.
The FIRST Robotics championships are in town for the next few days. Seeing as how the tickets are free, I told him we could go. He’s only ever wanted to be an engineer when he grows up. It’s one of his fixations that has lasted the longest. The boy was pretty excited.
Imagine my surprise when I read the schedule to discover that all of the cool events happen while we are at work and school. During the day. All of the evening events are for the sponsors and competitors. I was crushed. I hated breaking the news to him. He didn’t seem too disappointed, but I know he really wanted to see the robots. We can’t go any other day because he’s leaving on a Boy Scout trip tomorrow after school.
This wasn’t in my control, but I still feel as if I’m at fault here. I can promise him something else to make up for it, but this was a big event. Things like this don’t come around often in the Midwest.
I’ve posted for 100 days in a row now. That’s quite a little accomplishment. I should be proud.
Instead, my body aches. My arms feel like lead weights and are covered with bites and scratches. My knee should probably be iced down. I earned my paycheck today, ya’ll.
Working with special needs kids can be very rewarding. Any amount of growth can be celebrated daily and it makes you feel amazing to see them so proud of themselves. Some days, however, will put you through the ringer.
Fair warning for any aspiring special education teachers out there: You are going to get hurt. There will be kids that will fight you tooth and nail instead of doing their jobs. There will be kids that will destroy your classroom. There will be kids that seem to regress seemingly by the minute. You will be frustrated. Maybe for days or weeks. Maybe all school year. Heaven forbid if you decide to work summer school.
I don’t say all this to scare anyone off. I say this because you need to know how you are going to handle it. You need to have a plan for taking care of yourself after you put the kids on the bus. They’ll be back tomorrow and not renewing your energy makes you run out faster. And what happens if you keep running an engine with no fluid? Explosion and burnout city.
Don’t let your motor burn out. You can’t just run down to the junkyard and pick up a new one. Take care of you when you can and be ready for the next battle. Those little dears will be relying on you more than you realize.